Let’s talk first world problems today. It’s been a rough week on the interweb for me. You may have seen some hater(s) crawl out of the damp, dark, shitty hole they live in and make a special appearance in the comments section of my insta. The comments were something along the lines of me being incredibly arrogant, my weight, my lack of knowledge and whatever else they said. I was obviously extremely annoyed and upset, but then I had a thought. “Fuck that.”
I have worked incredibly hard on myself. I’ve worked harder then y’all will ever know to get to where I am in my career. So when someone calls me arrogant and selfish, I take that personal. I realized so many people who are confident and strong get mistaken for bitchy and arrogant people. I have a message for both parties, the ignorant idiots, and the strong magical humans. My strength, confidence, and skills are not supposed to be hidden in a corner to make you feel better. No one ever made something brighter by keeping it in the dark.
The problem with people is that they want to take full credit for shit they had nothing to do with. I’ve had so many people they “‘made me” and I “wouldn’t be where I am if it weren’t for their exposure.” Listen, when have you ever heard of a someone who holds bobby pins being credited for the hairstyle? Now listen, I’ve had the privilege of building a strong clientele full of well-known public personas. I have learned so much from them and appreciate the connection, but don’t get it twisted. I sat behind a screen for hours. I pressed a shutter button for hours, and I busted ass to create the magic that I know how to create. If all of the “I’s” and the “me’s” offend you, you need to get it together. A lot of the clients I work with also started out small. We grew and built together.
So let’s correct this while it’s still a ridiculous thought by many: taking a photo of a famous person does not put you on the map. Hard work, quality work, skills, and dedication put you on the map. And once you’re on the map you don’t apologize for being there. You also don’t dwell in that “happy and humbled to be here” state. You build a street, and then you build a city. After you build the city you build the state, the country and the continent. You put your name on that shit and make sure everyone knows where they are standing. And there is nothing fucking wrong with that.
I am extremely proud of the work that I do. I love the support my beautiful Instagram friends give me when I post my photos, but while I appreciate that, I knew it was great when I posted it because I took it. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, If you don’t believe you’re bomb and worth investing into, how do you expect someone to invest in you? That “know your worth and add tax” saying is not just a cute Pinterest quote. It’s a lifestyle that I have chosen to adopt. When I invoice someone, I’m not I’m not starting with “here’s my total, sorry.” I’m saying here’s how much I charge and your 50% deposit is due when you book, otherwise your shoot doesn’t exist.
Having that attitude has strengthened my business like you wouldn’t believe. As small business owners, we oftentimes have this wild misconception that you have to have your head down and your hands open to anything you can get. Fuck. That. Shit. You will give me what I’m worth. End of sentence. Stop letting people guilt you into that “don’t forget where you came from” bullshit. I know good and well where I came from. I’m not there anymore, and you don’t get to drag me back so that I can be at eye level with you. See here’s thing. People want to see you do good but never better than them.
This week a friend reminded me that when your present is a threat, people will bring up your past. Why do you think strangers on the huge World Wide Web will celebrate you before your own people? Nobody wants a rude reminder of the fact that y’all started in the same place, and while they are still where you started, you are now light years away. So next time someone hits you with the “you made it and forgot about the little people” shit. Hit them with the “Sorry, I no longer directly take messages, but you can contact my assistant.” Because again, fuck that.
This is not all business though. Years of therapy, learning to love myself and hard work has also allowed me to carry this attitude into my personal life. I choose to surround myself with great people because I am great. I have friends who call me higher because I don’t need to look down or back. I’ve already been there. I have a partner who brings so much light into my life but don’t get it twisted. Before I met him, I was already lit.
My parents worked incredibly hard to make sure that I was self-sufficient. When I was younger, my dad would buy me flowers every once in a while. It was my favorite thing. Made me feel like the luckiest human on earth. He told me I needed to start buying myself flowers and give myself that same exact feeling. I did that for years. Every Friday like clockwork I’d go to the grocery store and buy myself a fresh batch of bodega flowers. And I felt fantastic all on my own. My mom taught me that I was strong and powerful, but soft and kind. She taught me that all of those things were beautiful and she taught me not to let anyone fuck with me because my momma didn’t raise no pendeja.
This is why I post my affirmations and I’m always telling y’all how great you are. It’s not for the likes or the reposts. It’s because I believe it for myself first. I live in that place. And yes, it’s not always magic and pixie dust. Sometimes it’s CBD oil and sad Netflix shows. But I still believe everything that I post. I know how great it makes me feel and I want you all to feel the same way because you deserve to feel your best. You deserve to receive the tools that will help you find your worth. You deserve to know your worth.
All of this to say that if you find yourself in a place of doubt or shame for being a badass, brilliant, incredible human being because other people are trash and want you to feel like they feel. Say it with me… “FUCK THAT.” You deserve to put yourself in a position to vibrate higher every single day. You deserve to be the authentic Gucci among the Canal street frauds and let everyone know. And if someone is threatened or annoyed with the magic you are spreading, tell that hating ass trash person to get out of your MF way.
To those that DM me, encourage me and always leave incredible comments, I love you. I appreciate you, and you have absolutely had a hand in helping me get to where I am today. All of you who are here for all of this unapologetic magic, I see you, I feel you and I feel loved by you. Because it’s important for me, I will continue to be the badass bitch from hell that I am. I will continue to remind you to know your worth and add tax. I will continue to fight for you, share all of the useful knowledge that I have and spread my magic. You guys are amazing. Believe that shit.