100 Pennies vs 4 Quarters

Mar 23

I hate pennies. I know it sounds ridiculous because who hates money? Seriously, I hate pennies. I mostly dislike change, but if I have to stay away from anything, it’s pennies. They are so easily lost, so hard to use and they end up taking up space in your wallet. Who’s trying to walk around with a pound of pennies weighing them down? Do you know how hard it is to lose a pound? Ugh. I. Hate. Pennies. Nevertheless, this post is not about my disdain for pennies. Although I’m sure given the opportunity, I could write an entire essay on why I think they’re useless. I’ll save that for another time. Moving on…

Remember the last time you scrolled through your timelines, whether on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter and saw someone who you’re still not even sure why you follow? Or saw someone you can’t muster up the courage to unfollow because that conversation will be all too unnecessary, uncomfortable and a hot mess? We all have those people. Family members we feel obligated to speak to and remain friends with on social media. People we’ve worked with or had a significant relationship with in the past but no longer hold any value in our lives. Remember that? Five minutes ago? Yeah, I bet. Those are pennies.

If you think about it, it seems a bit ridiculous, but let’s take it back to the beginning so that we can figure this out together. First, let’s ask ourselves how we got here. How did we as a society get to a place where unfollowing someone on social media is stressful and even problematic? How did we as humans with the ability to make our own decisions (most of the time) come to a place where we force ourselves to participate in unwanted relationships for fear of offending someone or having an unpleasant conversation? K. I’m done being polite. When the fuck did we become such cowards?

Listen, I’ll be the first to admit it. I’m a firm believer in protecting my magic, but I didn’t always practice that truth that I “so passionately” preach. I’ve been friends with toxic people out of fear. I’ve been cordial with extremely toxic family members out of “respect” to god knows who because I’m still trying to figure that logic out. I know SO MANY PEOPLE who are friends with complete assholes because they fear what happens with you hit an unfollow button, or when you finally tell that person to fuck off. So many of us live in fear of people who don’t give a shit about us being upset with them. Let’s cut that bullshit right here and now.

Earlier this year I decided that I needed to step into the reality of what my life has become. My life, though far from perfect, is fucking incredible right now. I’m moving across the country with the human I adore. I’m growing as an entrepreneur and digital content creator. I’m discovering cool ass things about myself that I never even knew existed. I’m meeting new people and building new relationships. I’m turning into this fucking magical ass butterfly with sparkly glitter wings. Bitch, I’m basically a unicorn in real life. Realizing all of that made me hyper-aware of the fact that living my best life and tolerating toxic relationships was not a thing that should be happening.

 chasingdenisse.com

So I did it. I unfriended a shit ton of people I had no business being friends with. People I didn’t even remember how I knew, people I met like twice in my entire life, and family members. This one was tough for me because I was taught that you tolerate family no matter how much of a garbage human they are. You have to love them and be nice to them regardless of the waste of space they are in your life. Nah. Fuck out of here. It’s 2018 baby. Miss me with all of that. This year I decided that I’m getting rid of everything and everyone that threatens my peace of mind, my self-value, and my magic. GOODBYE. BLOCKED. I hate pennies anyway.

Unfriending people on Instagram is a bit more complicated because that’s where a lot of my business comes from. So you have a lot of the “I have to follow this person because I worked with them,” or “I have to follow this person because I’m going to run into them and I don’t want that awkward ass feeling of me knowing they know I unfollowed them which resulted in them unfollowing me and now we have to fake hug, FUCK.” I started unfollowing people that weren’t of any value to my highest good. If someone’s content does not make you happy when you see it, what are you doing following them? This says nothing about their character or who they are as people, but if you don’t like them, what is the worst that can happen when you press the unfollow button? Will your limbs fall off? Will this person call the police on you? Will you wake up to find that all of your edges are missing and someone has made 3 slices on your perfect eyebrow? No. So cut the shit. Literally. Cut the people who make you feel shitty out of your life.

Let’s take this up to level “*NSYNC Bye Bye Bye 2000.” Do it in real life. You don’t have to interact with anyone you don’t like. It is not rude to refuse to acknowledge someone you genuinely do not want to associate yourself with. It is your right as a human being to talk to whoever you want to and refuse to speak to whoever you want to. Being in any kind of relationship with someone you don’t want a relationship with is like starting a campfire and then handing the said person a bucket of water. You do it to yourself. It’s a disservice to your peace, to your life and to your magic. You don’t deserve to be weighed down by someones inability to have a proper place in your life.

So here’s what we’re going to do: We’re going to stop speaking to people that add no value to our worth. We’re going completely cut ties with people who hurt us, get upset when we call them out and then make us feel like shit for being upset with them. That isn’t healthy. We’re going to cut off people who don’t know the difference between inspiration and command+copy+paste. We’re going to stop telling our dreams to non-believers and we’re not going to explain to anyone why we are disassociating ourselves from them unless we want to. We’re going to stop forcing relationships with family members who are toxic. This is a form of self-care. Listen, they are going to judge, write subliminal statuses about you and start group chats in your honor anyway. Let them be and do you.

My favorite Maya Angelou quote says “When people show you who they really are, believe them.” Don’t wait until the 14th time they show you. Get it the first time. Stop making excuses for people who don’t deserve to witness your magic. Your magic is beautiful. Your life, the things in it. The things you work so hard to accomplish and so hard to create. Those things deserve your protection. So if that means cutting off people that literally want to steal your magic, then fuck it. Bye. Get rid of the people who constantly victimize themselves in every situation. Get rid of people who are jealous, consistently disappointing, waste all of your precious time and are just self-centered assholes. A penny costs more to produce than it is worth. You don’t need those pennies.

Life gives us two options. You can get your dollar in pennies or in quarters. When you look at 100 pennies it may look like a lot, but four quarters holds the same exact value and is much less stressful to count and keep up with. Do you really want to walk around with unnecessary weight? My Gucci wallet can’t hold 100 pennies. It’ll break. My Louis V wallet doesn’t even have a coin compartment because it knows what’s up. You owe it to yourself to get rid of all of those pennies. You owe it to yourself to get rid of anyone who tries to touch your magic with their dirty hands.

You deserve to be free, and if anyone asks, let’s all quote this line who’s source is unknown..

“I don’t care what I accepted in the past. I’m not accepting that shit now.” 

xo

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  1. SN

    March 23rd, 2018 at 5:40 am

    UGHHHH LOVE THIS. I COULDN’T HAVE SAID IT ANY BETTER. I LIVE BY THE QUOTE "PROTECT YOUR PEACE."
    xo. SN | http://www.sahonynatasha.com

  2. Diana

    March 23rd, 2018 at 11:04 am

    This right here 🙌🏽🙌🏽! Shyt, getting rid of the pennies! Is there anything you can’t do beautifully Denise? Keep sharing your magic and let those pennies go~ they can’t afford to be in your presence! ❤️

  3. Roketa Dumas

    March 23rd, 2018 at 1:18 pm

    Amen.to.that! 👏🏾 This just gave me so much life!!

  4. Lam Rou

    March 23rd, 2018 at 1:39 pm

    I have beeeen just disassociating with people when I felt like they were too toxic for me & got so much shit because I never said anything to them and what not. So the last one I cut off I let them stay too long in my life then they totally screwed me over. So fuck that bullshit & thanks for the reminder that I don’t need to explain myself to anybody 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

  5. Jess

    March 23rd, 2018 at 2:09 pm

    Standing ovation on this. This is a great way of communicating what I’ve been feeling re: social media lately. I don’t need pennies!

  6. Lyasia in the City

    March 23rd, 2018 at 3:00 pm

    THIS IS EVERYTHING!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Very well said!!

  7. Jenn

    March 23rd, 2018 at 3:34 pm

    On point the whole way through.. excellent writing skills! Seriously coming back full circle with the truth. No more pennies.. Oh and I absolutely believe those who have shown me their claws.. love this love you keep it coming. 🙌😙💋

  8. Shannae

    March 23rd, 2018 at 3:59 pm

    Soooooo gooood

  9. Dayna Bolden

    March 23rd, 2018 at 4:41 pm

    Whoa I needed this post!!!!! Thank you!!! No more pennies!!!

  10. Amber

    March 23rd, 2018 at 5:11 pm

    Just snatched all of my edges. Yet again.

  11. Francine

    March 23rd, 2018 at 6:55 pm

    Love love love love absolutely love this and thank you!!!!

  12. Kay

    March 23rd, 2018 at 7:27 pm

    I needed this today. Thank you!

  13. Damarys Maiello

    March 24th, 2018 at 3:29 am

    You are amazing! Straight to the point! I will be carrying only quarters feom now on. Thank you for your point of view!

  14. Chaun

    April 3rd, 2018 at 2:40 pm

    I am glad I grew out of that shit in college because I got rid of a few people them and I learned to cut my family off. What I have trouble with is making friends at almost 30 I crave a few friends now but they still need to have value….
    Loved it.

  15. Denise

    August 29th, 2018 at 1:59 pm

    Very well said. I especially like the analogy of the title. Thank you for being courageous.

  16. Denisse Benitez

    August 29th, 2018 at 5:47 pm

    Thank you so much for reading.
    xo
    D

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